Friday 30 April 2010

The Peter Andre section (and 'Death Rave' by Motor)


Hi Bums (U.S. meaning),

Who likes Peter Andre? I do. Obviously we share a lot in common musically, but really Peter is like a sort of greasy son to me. I used to live with him back in the last decade. We'd read together, and sometimes he'd watch me taking Salvia in the green house (My Salvia/greenhouse music selection: Just the song 'Death Rave' By Motor ), which made him laugh a lot.
Anyway, I was looking through some old boxes of tissues, and I found some scribbles I'd done about him. One poem, and a sort of diary of one of our days spent together... I do miss him.

Anti-Justice

Pete up on 'cid,
What did Katie did?
He hallucinates a dog,
It implodes and becomes a frog,
Peter and Andre,
Keats.


Portrait of the Artist as a Young Kangaroo, Living With Peter Andre.

Anna walked into the bathroom, and looked at me as I sat straining 'pon the toilet. 'You gunna be long?' she asked unsmiling, with upward eyebrows. 'I told you never to come in here, disturbing me when I'm having a shit' I replied with quiet yet unconcealed frustration. Anna frowned slightly. 'Why's it OK for him to be in here then?'. We both looked at Peter Andre, who was lying fully clothed in the empty bath tub, looking at our plain white ceiling. He moved slightly and looked back at us for a time, then let his greasy head roll back into place and resumed his daydream - all this without expression. I looked back at Anna with the same expression she had initially dealt me, and whispered 'It's different with him. You know that.'
She said that I was making her late for work, but then went back to bed.

I thought that Peter Andre was asleep as we sped to work in my blue Mini, until he suddenly turned off the radio. 'I was listening to that Pete' I lied. He ignored my faux protest and asked 'Ian? (he used to call me Ian) That Anna you live with - is she from that Russian book?'. 'No' I replied softly. 'That book was written over a hundred years ago'. Pete stroked his knee and muttered 'Tolstoy'. I nodded and applied the brake a little too hard. He began to tap the window slightly with his knuckle, but then as if remembering gossip asked if I'd ever read any Tolstoy, to which I replied that I hadn't yet. After a pause, I added 'You want us to read some tonight Peter?'.
He smiled and put his waxy yellow rain hat on. I assumed that meant 'yes'.

I looked at the piece of paper. It had 'One Stop' printed on it. A receipt. Some old fucker must have left it on the counter, so I put it in the bin and continued re-stocking the Golden Virginia and menthol L&B's. Ten minutes later I looked at Peter Andre, who was standing outside looking at the grey clouds. It was drizzling slightly, and Pete was smiling. I offered him an apple, and he galloped back into the shop. As I polished the granny smith, I noticed Peter's waxy yellow rain hat fall from his pocket mid-gallop. I pointed this out to him, but he didn't care - he just wanted the apple, so I let it roll across the counter. Pete took a huge bite, and his top lip was pushed up so far that it touched his nose. As he chewed he surveyed the shop - first the sandwiches, then the drinks, then the cigarettes and finally me. 'Ian?' he mumbled - only just clearing his mouth of granny - 'Are we all doomed?'. I replied that we were, and he smiled.
'I'm glad' said Peter Andre.





Tuesday 6 April 2010

New Lemonade Kangaroo 'Uh oh!' mix

Well then, I've decided that 2010 shall be the beginning of my live music career. I am attempting to suck people in with this little mix, it being a sort of shit version of the kind of thing I want to do live. Still, it should serve to outline what I have planned.

If you want me to play live near you, drop me a prick and I'll give you a wank. Sexy.


Lemonade Kangaroo - Uh Oh! mix by lemonadekangaroo

Thursday 1 April 2010

Devonwho (what the crazy fuck is going on?)

I was looking for some stuff to put up here about Suzie Analogue (I'm loving 'Home, Now' And I still might do something about her) But then - Fuck me in the pouch! Devonwho!?
So then this was just going to be a normal 'Blah blah blah' thing about my finding this new thing (Remix of Devonwho's Thumbtracks Vol. 1), and how good the thing was. And I guess it still is that sort of, but then the 3rd track -fedoraworm (didiase's microwave flip) - kicked in... YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Out of tune, all bleepy and stuff, Fuck yes! Annoyingly it's making me not want to listen to any of the other tracks. Maybe that's where these people have gone wrong. In the future, I'm only ever going to release sort of mediocre tracks so as to avoid this kind of mess (some people said that's what I've been doing since the start, but those people didn't say much else ever again after that).
There is a lot of stuff coming out of LA that I need to know more about, Hmmmm. Maybe studying the names on this release would be a good direction to travel in. I need a shower.